The Unraveling of the Ties That Bind

When I announced that I was leaving for a year, I received a variety of responses.  There was shock (You're doing what?!  Why???), excitement (Oh wow!  What an opportunity!  I'm so jealous!), and sadness (You're leaving me?).   People wanted to get together, make sure that I had the full American experience before leaving (because I obviously haven't had enough time to experience America over the past 23 years), and exchange e-mail addresses.  As I have said my farewells to friends, clients, and coworkers over the past few weeks, I've felt sadness, the sting of regret, and a sense of finality that isn't easily explained.  For me, the hardest part of moving to Mexico is not leaving family and long established friendships for a year; I find it much more difficult to leave friendships that have shaky foundations, that may or may not have a rebirth when I return in a year.  

Over the past year and a half, I have spent a semester in the Dominican Republic, worked for 8 months as a case manager, and lived in the Impact ministry house.  I've built relationships with urban youth, therapists, doctors, teachers, parents, coworkers, college students, other young adults, and people of all ages.  I have roomed with 2 complete strangers and one almost-stranger.  Relationships were built on the foundation of American culture, mutual connections, sheer convenience, and work.  I have more friends and acquaintances today than I've ever had in my life. 

As these relationships developed, I realized that some of them lacked lasting materials, such as common worldviews, shared interests, and the love of Christ.  As I began to make arrangements to leave, it occurred to me that the chords that tied us together had already begun to unravel.  I continued to cling to the remaining strands, reluctant to let go of people I truly care about and the shared experiences that bonded us together.  

As Tolkien so eloquently stated, "I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter over too much bread."  Don't misunderstand me.  I don't regret any new bonds that have been formed, but I regret their untimely ends.  I feel as though someone is scraping my heart with sandpaper every time I realize that I'm not just saying a temporary adieu but rather am severing my whole relationship with an individual.  As one friend and coworker told me, "Well, Whitney...have a nice life."  I wasn't hurt by this statement, but it made me think...I have the chance to interact with people for just a while, the chance to impact and be impacted by them for a short period in life before that opportunity is taken away.      

When I come back to the U.S. in a year, I'm sure that a fraction of the people who I consider to be friends today will want to see me, and even those friendships will be a little awkward at first.  Relationships aren't fixed and unchangeable.  Relationships are fluid, like the people that they connect.  After a year, on the surface, I may have very little in common with anyone, even my best friends, and yet I cling to the fact that we share a common purpose to live every moment to give glory to the Savior, as well as a love that comes only from love Himself.  These are the bonds that transcend culture, distance, and time.

Please, friends, stay in touch.  :)